The Kingdom Movement

A Literary & Pastoral Study Guide to the Gospel of Matthew

The Inspiration of Matthew,

by Caravaggio

On the King's Errand

Devotional Reflections on Matthew's Gospel

To Feel Pain Again:  Mt.8:1 – 4

^8:3 Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, ‘I am willing; be cleansed.’ And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

         Pain is a natural, important reaction to things that hurt us.  We should feel pain.  If we don’t, something is wrong.  Leprosy is a condition where you can’t feel pain.  So it’s important to pause and think about the fact that Jesus healed this man from leprosy so that he would feel pain again.

         God used leprosy as a metaphor for sin.  Why?  Because sin deadens us to the legitimate feeling of pain we experience when we sin or when people sin against us.

         When I was young, I didn’t want to hear my mom and dad fighting.  So I cut off my emotions.  I tried not to feel pain.  Instead, I plunged into sports and school.  Throughout high school, I worked really hard – hard enough to get up at 4:30am everyday during high school swim seasons, and hard enough to get into Stanford.  When I saw that I had real emotional needs, I thought that was a sign of weakness.  Yes it was human, but I didn’t like it.  Early during my junior year of college, I went through a very painful breakup with a girl I dated.  One reason is that she didn’t feel she could emotionally connect with me.  I was pretty stoic and unfeeling.  For several months afterwards, I asked the question, ‘Why am I the way I am?’  I found that I really craved love and respect.  But Jesus started to rip off the cosmetic scabs I used to hide my deeper need for healing.  It hurt.  But he helped me to feel pain again.

         Consider this story, and this pattern:  Karen*, in high school, dated a guy who took advantage of her sexually.  Initially ashamed and hurt, Karen later came to view her earlier sexual activity as not a big deal.  Later in life, she became sexually involved with others, each time feeling a pang of hope for true love.  But the repetition of pain unearthed and then covered over made her callous.  Unwilling to live within limits and boundaries, Karen lost the ability to sense what was truly healthy and good in relationships.  But Jesus began to peel off the scabs.  Through many tears, Karen let Jesus restore a true sense of what she initially lost.  But he also restored a true sense of feeling and sensitivity to what was whole and good.

         Jesus heals us so that we would feel the pain of sin, in ourselves and others.  To what has he made you sensitive?  Let’s ask, ‘Lord Jesus, to what else can I be more sensitive?’